Today has been nothing more than incidential. I've done nothing significant; but in a lot of ways, it's one of the most important days I've ever had.
For so long now, I've convinced myself that I'm going to study Drama at University, or even at a Drama School. It was a dream of mine, and I so deserately wanted it to happen. But the thing is, I've never had much confidence. In my drama class at college, I might get decent grades, but I'm not exactly what you'd call a typical drama student. I'm quiet and mannered, and unlike a lot of others, I'm not what we in Manchester call "in your face". I'm different, and because of that, I've worried that I wouldn't fit in within a drama course.
Today, I finally gave the matter some thought, and finally realised the truth; that I'm not cut out for a life studying drama. Sure, it would be nice and all, but it's not where my true talents lie.
I'm a writer at heart - more than I am an actor, and it's this element of me that does scream out with confidence. Whereas in acting I'm constantly scared I'm not good enough, in writing I feel mature enough and confident enough to stand up and say: "You know what, I am good enough".
So, come next September, I won't be studying drama or Peforming Arts. I'll be studying creative writing; like I should be doing. I've been trying to convince myself for so long that I'm something I'm not.
But at last, thanks in part to recent scripts, I can see what I truly am.
A writer. Through and through.