Monday, 4 June 2007

Everything Changes

It's already been a month; and I honestly don't know how I coped. Seriously man, she meant everything to me. One girl, who was my entire world. I loved Katie O'Donnell you know. Real love, right there. And now it's gone - and if that wasn't bad enough, I'm not entirely sure why.

Like any relationship, we had our ups and downs. There'd be times where we were so absolutely in love, and others where we were down another's throats. But love always prevailed, and we made it through all arguements - and all the better for it. We learnt our lessons, and our relationship grew ever stronger.

Then came the bad week. The week from hell. The week where everything changed forever. Not only was I having to deal with a 'proper' job for the first time ever, but I was trying to juggle work and a social life. Every second I had spare I was texting Katie, or emailing her - detirmined to show her that despite my full time job I could manage a life with her.

Katie was the most important person in my life. I wasn't going to let her go; ever. But things got complicated and she told me after just three days of me working at the cinema that she no longer wanted to remain with me. She felt that there wasn't room in my life for a relationship - and claimed that she no longer wanted me as a boyfriend.

Needless to say, I was crushed. It literally felt like my whole life was falling apart. That's why I stayed off of blogger for so longed, and hardly posted. Because I needed to recover emotionally - becuase after 17 months dating somebody, ending a relationship kills you inside. That's exactly how I feel right now; dead inside. But slowly I'm coming around.

There's little point moping about the break-up. Katie felt a little trapped, and unhappy. I can respect her decision to end "us", if it was for her own sanity's sake. Now I've got to pick up the pieces and move on. Sure, I had a fantastic 17 months with her (which I'll always remember) but who's to say I won't have another equally fantastic 17 months with somebody else.

Life is always about change - and it's how we deal with said change that defines us. I've got to keep my chin up, and still live every day to the full. Just because Katie is gone, doesn't mean the guy she loved has to disappear too. I'm Anthony Garnon - free and single. I've no immediate plans - but what else is new. Everything changes, and anything could be around that corner.
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