It's not healthy, I know, but I just can't help myself. Every opportunity I get, I just have to do it. Seriously, it's become a bad habit now; checking my mobile phone every opportunity I get to see if the ex has left any messages. I don't know what I'm expecting her to do - but I know what I want. I want her to text me back and say she's made this huge mistake, and she wants me back. It'll never happen of course, I'm just kidding myself.
I have to move on from Katie Marie O'Donnell. You don't know how much it hurts to even type that - but longing over the girl, who's now out of my reach, isn't doing me any favours; and I doubt it's good for my overall mental health. Infact, it's more likely to drive me over the edge of insanity, if I haven't reached it already.
As somebody just said on 'Neighbours', "I love somebody who doesn't love me". How true.
So my life now is about picking up the pieces, and moving on - one piece at a time. Today was a start, as for the first time in a long while I actually headed on outside the house and did something worth while. Oh yes. And it was the highlight of a very bleak 30 days! Hopefully I can have more of the same in the near future...
Guess right now I should be enjoying life as a singleton? Well, for me that involves a half hour trall around Forbidden Planet in town (normally I restricted myself to just five minutes when my girlfriend was around to avoid severe boredom on her boredom!). And you know what I realised looking around that place? I no longer care for half the stuff in there. I've changed, I guess, over the last 17 months. Those silly things I once found so amusing are know just faded gems in my mind. The day I met Katie my life started again.
So it's time I forged a new identity all over again. It can be done. It must be done. Kinda exciting, don't you think? My life is about to enter its next phase, and anything could be around that corner. Stop being so down and depressed, and start enjoying your life a little, fella!