Wednesday, 6 June 2007

My So Called Life

I woke up this morning, and did pretty much exactly the same things I've been doing for a whole month now; I ate my breakfast, sat on the computer for a couple of hours, and generally did nothing of importance. And all the time I'm asking myself; where the hell has my life gone?

Months ago I had this nice little routine. In the day I'd attend college; get home and watch a couple of hours of television. Then evening would hit and I'd have my tea, before ringing my girlfriend for an hour or two (or if I was especially lucky, I'd actually get to see her... in the flesh! Oh yeah.) Afterwards I'd write a fragment of a script, or maybe watch some more TV or a DVD (Alias; Firefly; etc) But that was the old days, when my life actually had some form of structure.

Now it's one giant mess. College is over, my girlfriend has broken up with me (so no giant telephone bills anymore) and I've got nothing to do with my life. Well, there's work I suppose - but every week my shifts differ; so there's no real routine to that. I just turn up at increasingly random times to pick up the crap left behind by others. Oh joy!

Even my script writing's suffering, cos I can't quite concentrate on anything for long enough now since Katie left me. I'm a writer who can't think. Geez, at this rate I'm gonna end up writing for Primeval, or bloody Balamory. Note to one's self - must sort yourself out. One girl is not the end of the world. Oh... who am I kidding?!

That emptiness I keep talking about on these very pages is exactly how I feel right now. I'm waking up to go to work, and then go back to bed. I'm a nothing right now - and need a right royal kick up the arse. It's about time I sort my life out and get something done - otherwise I'll remain this lifeless shell for a long while to come.
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