I think I'm finally starting to move on, from several of those demons that have haunted me this past year. I've got a girlfriend now - a terrific, funny, clever, everything-you-could-possibly-want girl called Clare. The two of us met at the beginning of the year when she started working at the cinema, and I guess we've grown more and more 'together' since then.
Honestly, Clare is the sweetest, most lovely person you could ever meet - and she's gorgeous, too! When we first met, I'm ashamed to say, I didn't give her the time of day - she was one of many, MANY new people to start at the cinema at that particular time; too many new folk to bother with, I figured. How wrong I was!
After a couple of shifts together the two of us were friends - she laughed at my funny sex stories, and listened sensitively as I told her about my mending-broken heart. She never patronised me, or told me to snap my fingers and move on. Oh no, she treated me with a lot of love and care, and showed me that it's okay to move on at your own speed.
Then we started going out, just as friends at first, and it was the greatest! We talked about so much, and it never felt forced. It never felt like "if we stop talking, the silence will take command". It felt real, and it felt honest, and it felt so *right*.
Guess that's why, ultimately, becoming boyfriend/girlfriend was the next progressive step. When she's around me, she occupies so much of my love and my passion, and my general being that all my problems just fade away, and nothing is more important to me than her - this one girl, Clare.
My Clare. D'you know how much pleasure it gives me to say that? :)
She's gone away from me for the next four months. This is her gap year, and she's off on a big, mad adventure around New Zealand. I hope she uses that time to have the time of her life, and enjoy herself more than she's ever done before. I'm so happy and grateful that she's had this opportunity, and that's why I'm not sad or upset she's gone, because this is her chance to make something of the year 2008, of her life so far, and her life to come.
I'm waiting patiently back at home - but not because I have to, or because I'm expected to... but because I want to. This girl means so much to me, ya know. There was never any question that I'll be here for her when she gets back in August. She's my girl, and I'm not letting go.