End of April, my girlfriend went away for three months to New Zealand. Round about the same time, I finished university for the summer, and went into work and told them I could work full time hours. They never got back to me (in a move, surely, to cutback on staff hours) so I was stuck working just the weekends, and the odd Thursday shift too. Damn.
Normally I wouldn't moan about all of the free time this creates, but truth is - it's been bloody murder! With spare time, I usually sit down and write a script - anything from a short film that might end up being filmed, or the odd issue of my comic "Darkened Avenue"; which nobody will ever read. Trouble is, this summer, I can't! My head's not in that place; you know, the place that writers tap into for inspiration and ideas.
Dunno if that's because I'm missing my girlfriend so much, or because I'm still exhausted from the past year at university, or work, or whatever. I don't know. Have not got the foggiest. All I know is that I can't write, and it leaves me very little else to do!
Ya see, I've never been much of an outdoors person - this past week of sun and heat has been a living nightmare for me! Felt like I was gonna faint a few times! When I do go outdoors, it's usually on little adventures, but you know the rule about adventures - you shouldn't really have them on your own, and me? I've had nobody to share mine with, so they've been shelved!
This all amounts to one thing: my summer of 2008, spent mostly in my bedroom - watching films and television programmes on DVD. Yep, sad I know, but it's the best and only way I've had of passing the time between uni finishing and Clare coming back home - watching the likes of "Angel" or "The Office" or "Babylon 5". An easy way to waste time.
Because, let's face it, that's why I've been doing it; why I've locked myself away in the bedroom watching TV so much - because it can make you the most passive person in the world. Time goes by and you don't even notice them, the hours of the day, slipping you by. Guess that's the great tragedy of my summer - not that I've spent so much time watching DVDs; but that I did so because I knew it'd waste time (valuble time, I'll never get back).
I let summer pass me by in that bedroom, because I wanted it gone. One day I'll look back and think how wrong that was, and how - then - I'll want that lost time back.
Oh bedroom of worry, bedroom of shame - I'm telling myself, never again.