Thursday, 10 July 2008

Highs and Lows

It's funny isn't it how the cycle of every day emotions (happiness and sadness, in their most simple forms) keep on turning? The happiest guy on the planet could be on Cloud 9 one minute, with everything he ever did want, and the next... VOOSH! It's gone; everything he faught for - everything that he thought would last forever. The happy, turned to sad.

Recent years, my life has pretty much maintained that rollercoaster of emotion - as I go from one extreme to the other. I remember way back in 2005, during the summer months having just left school for the final time, feeling so alone and a little scared of the world. Mum had fallen out with me because I had no job, or any intentions of getting one, and for a time my only friend in the whole world was a television programme; "Doctor Who".

Literally, I remember very vividly sat in my room, on my bed, in tears - looking at an issue of Doctor Who Magazine, which had a photo of then new Doctor David Tennant on the cover, and thinking that this one show, rather pathetically, summed me up. I was a boy, wanting to get out there, explore the world and do some good - but was trapped in a small room, with no means of escape.

I spent all summer long during 2005 in that room. I only left it again when college started - a time which kick started the next period of my life so far, what I referred to for so long as my 'golden era'. It was the time I met the ex-girlfriend Katie, and made a few new friends. I was finally studying the subjects I wanted to be learning and everything seemed to be going right for me.

Summer 2006 was great - a real 'summer of love', with the girl of my dreams - doing things I'd never done before - connecting with another human being, and falling madly, head over heels in love. I'd never felt that way before. It felt so special and unique, and as if it'd never come to an end.

Nothing could go wrong could it?

When you're at the top, there's only one place to go...

Down, and then down some more.

I was falling; college ended, and I lost all those friends. Then Katie left me, and cut me out of her life forever. I started working at the cinema, which ate up most of my time. That summer, of 2007, I had little free time; and even when I did, I spent it moping around the place, thinking of what I'd lost, and lamenting what could have been.

Then, as things do, the pain started to heal itself. I started enjoying life again. Sure, I was still upset about the break-up and the pain it reminded me of, but I got over it. I met a girl, Clare, who I fell in love with instantly because, well, she's Clare - and she challenges me in ways that other people wouldn't dare to. Honestly, she's the bravest person I've ever met; just don't go telling her I said that!!

So the wheel turns again - Clare's back from a three month adventure in New Zealand at the end of the month; who's betting that 2008's summer months are going to be an absolute blast? :)

Because there's one thing I've learnt - every high is followed by a low, at which point we must pick ourselves back up again and continue living our lives, by moving on and embracing the new challenges that await us. It's the only way pain heals, and the only chance we'll ever have to realise how much we truly love the things we have around us today.
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