Thursday, 17 July 2008

Into the Void

Rather surprisingly, this is my 200th post here on this merry blog! Whoa, when did that happen - and where did all the time go? So much has changed since that first post way back in January 2006. Hell, so much has happened, so much change, since that 100th post this time last year. Still, through it all, I have that passion for writing; the feeling that with it, my life is going somewhere. I have direction.

But that doesn't mean that the future doesn't scare me, because going into this business, I know it'll be tough. Script writing is hard, but to paraphrase Horatio Maguire (hero of my short film "Self") nobody ever said it was gonna be easy. And I know that; and it both scares me and exhilerates me. Out there, who knows what waits for me?

With all the who-ha over reality television and the popularity it's gained, nobody is quite sure what the future is for British television drama. Yep, the soaps will still exist in some form - they're the bad apple that just won't get the hint and go away - but what of the rest of the UK's dramatic output? Will it be bigger than ever before (fingers crossed) or will the likes of Big Brother wield the final death blow..?

Anyhoo, that's so far away! Let's worry about that when the time comes. For now, I'm looking to the not-so distant future. My girlfriend Clare returns from three months abroad in a matter of weeks, and I'm quite looking forward to it! Thing is though, if I was her - having spent 100+ days in an exotic land - boring old Manchester just wouldn't interest me anymore.

And, hey!! I'm part of that - I'm Mr. Boring Manchester (perhaps I should rephrase that...) What I'm trying to say - not too successfully - is that I sum up life back home, to a degree. What if she really has changed and no longer sees home for what it is? She won't want me anymore; because I don't live up to those wild adventures she's been having half a world away.

Fingers crossed that won't happen; but my instincts tell me that things have indeed changed her end, and I can't quite put my finger on why. She doesn't really talk to me that much anymore, which I'm like 99.9% sure is just because she's busy enjoying herself. But still, that 0.1% doubt s there - what if she isn't all that chatty is because she doesn't wanna chat with the likes of me?

I'm such a worrier, yes? Wouldn't have it any other way.

Happy 200th.
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