Friday, 11 September 2009

Betrayal?

There's something about this blog that brings out a romantic side in me. It seems like every time I post here, it's in some way got to relate back to the topic of love - through tales of ex-girlfriends, or current exploits. Doesn't help of course that I'm single, and right now I have sex on the brain; for everywhere I look, it's there.

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Thought this might be a nice counter-post to what I wrote of Wednesday about love (& all that). You see I talked about there my current feelings towards me having a relationship, and trying to move on, but what I didn't really touch upon was how I felt about people I've loved - or been intimate with - moving on after they've broken up with me.

The topic is a hot potato right now, for not only have I discovered that Clare is dating a guy called Andy Taylor, but today I heard the news that a girl I sorta-dated for a week is engaged! Oh yes, a sign that I truly am getting old...

They - the girls I let into my heart many moons ago - have all moved on now, and I'm not quite sure how I feel. To be frank, I see Katie 'moving on' as the ultimate betrayal, because here was a girl who had promised to love me forever now promising another guy the exact same thing. It almost makes what me and her had not-special or unique anymore. I'll tell you what it is... It's the ultimate insult! A spit in the face. Her saying, "screw you, there's other guys out there more deserving of me right now than you."

With the others I've dated, it's different. They weren't my first, and I was far from their's, so no promises of declarations of true, eternal love were ever made. It was kinda a given that they'd one day move on from me, and probably to bigger and better things. No, it's not a betrayal from them - because I've always had to accept it would happen. No, instead it's an omen, forecasting how shitty my life has become compared to them, and without them.

Once upon a time, I was furious at the thought of an ex of mine shacking up with somebody else. Now... not so much. If another guy wants to marry Hayley Todd, good for him and I wish him all the best. If somebody better suited to Clare comes along and sweeps her off her feet... well, she deserves to be made happy. And as for Katie... well, if another guy wants to take a chance on her, best of luck to him I say! He'll need it, dating her.

So it's not a betrayal. Not really. Not when I observe it from an adult point of view, and come to accept that all things have their time, and then everything comes to an end. They're only human, and want companionship like me. They'll fight to get it anyway they can, with whoever they can, because that's human nature. They certainly don't do it out of spite. Oh no... when it comes to their own personal happiness now, away from me, I doubt I even register in their heads.

To ex-girlfriends; and realising it's time to move on, because they have!

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Mum's got round to adding a Facebook profile for herself. Well, I set it up for her, but she's already using it and adding friends from school that's she's lost contact with. Nice to see her strowlling down memory lane. She seems at her happiest when she's visiting it.
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