Writing Frank's Apocalypse again has got me thinking about my life in some very interesting ways. The titular character of Frank Mayde is an absolutely ignorant, self-important and grumpy young man - something I'd like to think I'm the polar opposite of, only the more people I describe Frank to, the more I hear "oh, so he's based on you then...?"
Erm... that wasn't my intention!
I've always been known to be a bit of the grumpy side. I'm the sort of guy who'll see something and have this pressing need to then go moan about it. Case in point, yesterday in Aldi with a friend of mine. They had no plain, still water on sale - so I kicked up a massive fuss, moaning about it, and denying my bladder flavoured or sparkling alternatives*. That's a little grumpy, and I recognise that. What I find harder to accept are the other qualities about Frank Mayde that people place upon me.
Really, am I self-important? Hmm, I probably do think about myself with every action I take, but then again, doesn't everybody? I don't do selfish things that would leave me with some sort of advantage over other people. I won't steal somebody's food in the staffroom fridge, for example. Then again, selfish isn't exactly the same sort of thing as being self-important. So, do I consider myself better than other people? Sometimes, yeah. But I like to think that's cancelled out by just how neurotic I become about myself too! Still, I could probably do more and behave in a certain way that doesn't leave people thinking I prize myself more than them...
Finally, the ignorance. Now this one I really do protest! I'm an eyes-wide open sort of guy. I'm aware of everything everybody around me is up to, or try to be. I try to be sensitive too to what you might be feeling. Also, I like learning about new people and new things. How can somebody like that ever be considered ignorant to the world around them?!
Maybe it's just people don't understand me when they compare me to Frank. Maybe. Or they could just be stupid or ill informed about me. I dunno.
Of course, maybe they're right and on top of being ignorant, self-important and grumpy I'm also a little dilusional; choosing to ignore the facts even when they've pointed out to me.
Hmm... Could it be true?!
I'm 20 years old and honestly have no idea of the type of person I am.
*In the end, my thirst won - I settled for lemon and lime flavoured water.