Friday, 23 October 2009

Who Am I (& Who Are YOU)?!

Funny thought: There's people reading this right now that probably don't even know me. They've found this blog through any one of the other sites I right for (most probably TORCHWOOD.tv) or they read this through a friend of a friend on Facebook, where my posts are redirected to once they've gone live.

*Cough, cough... Becca Dowling*

Yes Miss Dowling, and your friend who - by all accounts - catches up with my life on a regular basis through my Facebook notes that you, as my friend, have access to.

I've never met Miss Dowling's friend (hello!) so it's strange to think that all of the judgements she's made about me already are through what I've wrote here. Depending upon how she interprets my writing styles, she either views me as egotistical, neurotic, a boy genius, crazy, lazy, happy or sad. Perhaps lots of other things, too. But I wonder how close to the truth they are - does this one girl I've never ever met have a better understanding of the inner-workings of my mind than my closest friends, who I speak to on a regular basis, but rarely open up to as deeply as I do here? Hmm...

I suppose all writers go through this feeling of... surreality, knowing that an unknown person has access to their created worlds and fiction. Here on this blog, my mind is open for others to read and decide upon. Guess I willingly let that happen, by firstly writing my thoughts down on a piblic blog and secondly, by reposting that stuff on Facebook. I'm aware that others are bound to read up on me and make snap judgements, in the same way that if I was television writer Russell T Davies, say, I'd know that millions of people at home would judge me on my scripted television output. I make the choice to post online, so should live with anything that may come out of it as a result.

Of course, for the most part it's the work (not the person) that the audience feels drawn to. No doubt Becca's friend feels a connection with my anxities, or whatever else. It's clearly not *me* that's got her reading this blog - because realistically, I'm just an average 20 year old guy; in what way do I stand out to people I've never met? Of course it's the words on screen she's connected to. Has to be. Yeah?

Anyhoo I don't care if others do or don't read this. For the most part I write it because my brain wants to create things, any 'thing', through the medium of words. I don't really stop to worry what others might think of it all. It's the reason why Ryan Whittaker can bugger off, complaining and laughing at a previous post of mine. Nothing to do with him. This is my blog; my plaything, and on here I can do anything, anything at all. You just watch me.

If you're a reader and we've never met, thanks for taking the time to read all this. I hope it makes you feel something reading these posts of mine - whatever the feeling is. If it does, then that's my job done. Happy/sad (confused or otherwise) reading!

***

Off to Liverpool tomorrow for the press screening of The Sarah Jane Adventures. Honestly, I can't wait!! Shall post my reaction to it all when I'm back and next online.

I'm due to get the train early tomorrow morning. Hopefully I'll be awake enough to catch it. I say that because it's now a quarter to four in the morning, and I'm still writing - meant to have something up online hours ago, before work, but I plain forgot.

Shall think about my scripts on the train down there. Always good to think things through on buses or trains, I find.

Till next time!
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