Sunday, 19 September 2010

A Picture of You

It's there, and I'm looking at it. Of course, I'm not supposed to be. It breaks all the rules, but hey, I'm past the point of caring. Hell, I don't think there are rules anymore - not when it comes to YOU. It's been too long, and so much has changed.

The key word to all of this: Change.

It's there in that photo. All this time apart, and because of it I'm the most qualified person in the world to notice all that's different now. The hair stands out most of it - it's a completely different colour! My God, when did that happen? It's so different, and new... but it works. You look fantastic. Time has been good to you.

And then it hits me how annoying that is, because you don't deserve to look good. Not in my eyes, not anymore. You gave up that entitlement a long time ago. I'm supposed to hate you, and look back on our time and think it were some giant mistake. But I don't, and I can't - because that picture proves it. You really are as beautiful as I told myself every date, and as clever, and witty, and as good for me.

It's true that I've changed too. Unlike me looking at you - an outsider looking in - I'm not as aware of those changes, though, because I've rolled with them. They've been tiny steps to me - but added together, they would equate to giant leaps to you. And now I'm curious what you would think - if the tables turned, and you saw a picture of me.

Would you think the same?

And it's a cruel twist of fate that I'll never know.
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