It's difficult putting my thoughts down like this, as this isn't a script - and my gut, as a dramatic writer, is to chase the drama. But sometimes there isn't drama... there are just bumps.
Today, it's three days on since the break up. The day started with me receiving an email from Gabi. I responded straight away... and then waited the rest of the day to hear back from her. I also hate this period, when you have to get use to your ex-lover's new tone. The woman you once loved and heard love you back, now talks to you with a slight indifference, a slight nervousness - as if afraid they might say the wrong thing, and either one of you will fall back into the relationship again.
We exchanged a few texts in the evening. Look, I want her back. So I tried to be as friendly as I could be. I know everybody online says there should be a period of no contact, but f*** that! I can do my own things when I want to.
As it stands right now, I have messaged her back. She hasn't replied, but most likely just because she's fallen asleep. I hope! I think we're in a better place with one another, and it's certainly a good sign that she's keeping in touch.
She still wants to move to Southend. I think, if we were still together, we could make it work. I'd just visit weekends; or she visits me. Simple, really. I'm kicking myself I didn't offer it as an option when we were together!!!!!! (I think you'd do a deal; she arranges to get the same 2 days off back-to-back per week, and agrees to review her living situation in 6 or 12 months. Likewise, if I didn't crack working in TV or film, I would review moving to the seaside)
Huh. Reading this back, I sound very naïve don't I?
We'll see what tomorrow brings.