Break-ups are fucking confusing times.
I'm not talking about the emotional turmoil of "we should/shouldn't be together." Well, not strictly.
What I am referring to is that period of time where communication becomes absolutely bonkers. Me and Gabi are at this stage now.
You're not quite sure what you can or can't say. You're not even sure when it's appropriate to message them. Do you give them space, or not? What happens if you do? What happens if you don't?
Every word in the messages are laiden with hidden meanings (or at least, they are in your mind) At what other point than the start and end of every relationship do we analyse words as much?
I've been through this stage various times now, courtesy of more break-ups than I can to mention. I'm almost at the point where I'm use to it, and communication doesn't seem as much of a struggle as it did.
But this isn't necessarily a good thing. Take my current predicament with Gabi. I'm not following some of my past behaviour. I'm not making all that much effort to message her. There's been no attempts to reconcile (beyond that initial post-break up emailing) and yet... I still want to be with her.
Is this a new, maturer attitude to a break-up, or just a grown up acceptence that it's over? I won't know for a long time; until I can look back with hindsight.
Like I said, it's all fucking confusing. And frankly, ludicrous!