Wednesday, 23 September 2015

A horrible thing

I'll be glad when this particular day is over. Even then, I'm confident my subconscious has latched on, and will make me relive the whole thing over in feverish dreams.

Basically, I cut Gabi permanently out of my life. I did it by deleting her off Facebook, and asking her not to contact me again (Well, unless her attitude to me has changed).

Why?

We broke up 2 months ago now, and it's just been an uphill struggle from there. Gabi says she wants to remain friends, but puts little effort into that supposed friendship. For example, she doesn't contact me out of the blue. The only time we talk is when I initiate conversation.

She did agree to meet yesterday, yes - and I'm very grateful to her for that. But then she let things end as badly as they did, and gave me the crappiest of goodbyes.

This morning she was back to her old tricks, of finger pointing/name calling/general pessimistic attitude about our relationship. I'd had enough, I was tired of being on the receiving end of her negativity and snapped.

Thing is, I'm struggling to reconcile if that was the right thing to do. Gabi is a lovely person (no really) but her emotions towards me in particular are complicated. So I didn't want to hurt her, but I think I might of done.

I would apologise, but she won't believe it.
 She's convinced I'm the bad guy. Besides, she won't respond now. I told her to leave me alone, and she will do. Instead of saying sorry then, all I can do is wallow for a while, and hope we're both OK in the long run.

With that, I'm off to sleep, and to put this whole messy affair to bed once and for all.
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