Thursday, 15 October 2015

42 Happy Memories

I hope this is the last G-centric post for a while. It feels too painful to keep referring back to my relationship with her, which means I should stop and attempt to move on. Before I do, I thought I'd try and write down as many happy memories as I can - because memories eventually start to fade, so whilst I'm still aware of much of this, I should commit it permanently to written form. Why, you might ask? I view me and G as my most successful relationship to date.

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1) The Inbetweeners 2 premiere at Vue Leicester Square. I was an event manager on the day, and G had come to cover. We were all over each other! Seriously, she was following me around, and I was following her. Whilst I was in the cash office cashing people up, she was sat with me talking. I felt a massive chemistry immediately. I'd always fancied G (we had worked together at the Westfield cinema) so I couldn't believe that she was flirting with me back!

2) In the days that followed, G added me on Facebook and we got messaging. I tell her that I thought she didn't like me... and she admits she hated me! It's a big blow - I suddenly think "maybe she doesn't fancy me after all." But the messages continue, and it's clear she does like me.

3) Our first date, watching Mood Indigo at the Prince Charles Cinema just off Leicester Square. It's a cute film, but I spent the duration of the screening not quite believing my luck that I'd secured a date with G! Talking to her afterwards, and our conversations over Facebook chat, made me realise that here was a person who I got completely, and was just like me. We had identical tastes in films, and opinions of people, and the world in general. I remember thinking: "This shows up all of my past relationships" because this one was so good.

4) G went away to Montenegro and then Hungary for three weeks early on into our relationship (August-September 2014) but we carried on messaging each other anyways. Apparently her friend Piros got very upset that G wasn't doing stuff on the holiday, as she was too busy talking to me!

5) As part of the conversations me and G had whilst she was on holiday, we were sending pictures to each other. The other person then had to reply, with a copycat image. So G sat on the beach with the letter "A" sunscreened onto her belly... I got toothpaste out, and applied a letter "G" to my hairy chest.

6) When she came back, we went on a date around central London - my mission to G was to take as many images she could that captured what London meant to her. At this point, G was telling me how much she loved London, and she'd always wanted to live in the city. She took an iconic picture of me stood outside of the West End's Ku Bar, looking all sexy and moody. Other pictures included a skateboard graveyard just off Southbank, and homeless people around Trafalgar Square way.

7) I remember the first time G came around to mine, and me saying to her "It doesn't look much like it did in That Resolute Desk!" She told me she was a big fan of that film.

8) Me telling G about A Life of Cliche. Her response: "How did I not know about this already?" I presumed she had read the blog already, as she knew things about me that I hadn't directly told her. After I sent her the link she read through as many pages as she could, and commented on a few of them, and telling me the ones she adored. It was the first time I knew she loved me. Why else would somebody trawl through 500-odd pages of my waffle?

9) I held off saying "I love you" for a very long time. Not because I didn't feel it. I really, really did! But in my own way I thought it was more important, more romantic to show those feelings instead. I can't remember when I finally said those three words, but I remember G's reply: "I know" She of course said it back to me! :)

10) Late 2014 I was getting very frustrated working at Vue. To make matters worse, I was getting texts off G saying how much she hated it too. Her feelings seemed to be a lot stronger than mine, so I decided to help her out as best I could. I spoke to my General Manager, who knew the guy in charge of Curzon Soho, and I asked him to set G up with a job. Eventually he did, and G left Vue. It's one of the things I'm most proud of achieving in the relationship.

11) G read through some of my completed, but unfilmed, scripts. She agreed to make "I Am A Vampire!" - but I said I wanted zero involvement, as it would be fun for me to just see the final film as a viewer and not a film maker. So G and her friend Robbie went out Halloween 2014, and filmed it pretty much in one go. When I saw the finished film in November, I was genuinely blown away. It looked AMAZING.

12) When my Nan died in early December 2014, I didn't have the time to go back home. So in the week and a bit between her death and funeral, it was G who I chiefly grieved with. She was immensely supportive.

13) Filming Ushers at around the same time, G was on set for a couple of days and was also (of course) featured in the film. Her biggest role came in the editing stage. I needed somebody to view the cut scenes, and every time I looked to her. No doubt she was incredibly bored by the end of the process, but she never complained and carried on giving her feedback.

14) We loved eating Square Pie together - whether from the restaurant in Westfield, or bought at the local supermarker.

15) When she would send me postcards from Moonpig, for no reason at all.

16) Her jar from Christmas 2014, filled with 50 reasons why we're a good couple. (Just remembering that has made me cry!)

17) Taking our weekly trips to the cinema together, to watch new releases. Afterwards, talking about the films - and we always, always, always had the same reactions. I miss this most of all.

18) Hoggy

19) The holiday to Budapest:
- Meeting G's Mum/Brother/Cat
- The food!
- Filming
- Going back to her childhood home/school
- Watching Wild
- Pedal car hired on Margaret Island
- Getting lost trying to find her brother's flat!

20) Sat on the plane ride back from Budapest, and agreeing to move in together.

21) Our first bath together. G said it was the most romantic experience of her whole life.

22) Seeing Ennio Morricone in concert for G's 30th.

23) Sitting on Nelson's Column, discussing my future at the cinema. There, together, we decide I'm going to resign and make plans. G says she is proud of me. The next day she buys me an electric shaver as a congratulations.

24) When she first started coming over to mine, we slept on the floor as we thought my single bed was too cramped for the two of us! Eventually we reverted back to the bed.

25) The night G's bed collapsed in on us! That was terrifying!

26) Lush bath bombs. We used the Avocado one, the gold one, and the red one. We also use to go through a tonne of bubble bath.

27) Talking of using a lot of something... G has a severe dust allergy, and always had the sniffles at my place, meaning she used a mountain of toilet paper (I didn't care).

28) She had a Matt Smith crush! I tried getting her to watch all of the new Doctor Who's but she wasn't interested (unless it had Matt Smith in it).

29) Pusheen

30) We went running together, once, in the park opposite her house in Ealing.

31) Making pancakes together!

32) My diet at the start of the year, and G taking weekly photos of my progress.

33) G coming to Piccadilly cinema on her lunch breaks to give me a sandwich, or drink. I loved her for that.

34) Her coming to Manchester and meeting my family. She fell especially for my baby niece, Brooke.

35) I gave G a chester drawer at my place, which she filled with her stuff - and lots of breakfast snacks.

36) G loved whipping her camera out, and taking pictures of me. Literally, of me doing anything - writing, eating, thinking, being silly.

37) On that note - the video she recorded of me belly dancing!! I wonder if she still has it.

38) Me deciding to switch from a iPhone to Samsung on her advice.

39) When we went looking for my ideal pair of glasses, or when we decided my new hair style together.

40) Getting tickets to the Entourage premiere.

41) Me contributing one line to her Stock Villain video - "Be nice to your ice!"

42) G use to go to sleep very early. I'd sit on the floor writing. Later when I would go to bed, she'd often be deep asleep. I'd look at her and think how proud I was of this woman, how in love with her I felt, how secure, and how happy. I'd very gently kiss her, and hold her hand. I doubt she was ever aware of any of that.

***

The films we watched together at the cinema:

Mood Indigo
What If? 
Begin Again
Lucy
Magic in the Moonlight
Night Will Fall
Gone Girl
Nightcrawler
Interstellar
Fury
The Imitation Game
What We Do In The Shadows
The Grandmaster
Unbroken
Mr. Turner
Birdman
The Theory of Everything
Foxcatcher
Whiplash
Ex Machina
Big Hero 6
Kingsman: The Secret Service
Shaun the Sheep Movie
Wild
Still Alice
X & Y
The Tale of the Princess Kaguya
While We're Young
Lost River
The Avengers: Age of Ultron
Mad Max: Fury Road (I think...)
Pitch Perfect 2
A Girl Walks Home Alone At Night
Listen Up Philip
Entourage
Irrational Man (post break-up)

***

Literally, in the process of writing this, I burst into tears. It's the first time I've cried about the break-up, despite wanting to a few times. It feels good to get it out of my system.

There's a lot more memories than these 42 - but for the moment, they are the ones that scream out to me. I may add more if they come to me.

Please don't view them in a weird way, as if I'm obsessing. I don't mean to look like I am. If anything, I'm typing the thoughts up, so that they are preserved forever, meanwhile I can let go of them from my mind and move on.
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