I've spent the last week or so trying to overcome a new bout of depression. As part of a personal antidote to that, I've started doing a couple of things - one in which includes writing stream of conscious thought essays.
This morning's one is, I think, an accurate, honest account of my recent life. It exposes some mistakes I've made. I won't dwell on them here - instead, I want to do something positive, and constructive. Forget the mistakes. They've been made. Life is about picking yourself back up - so what do I plan on doing to overcome these faults?
Worry less about money
Sometimes, I let concerns about money stop me doing the things I want to do. A good example of this is the theatre. I love going to it, but it's very costly in London. Sometimes, I should just shrug, not care, and pay up.
Infact, worry less in general
It just causes stress, and actually, I know already that everything will turn out OK.
Go out, and do more!
Life extends well beyond the walls of my room. I should go out and see bits of the world. Maybe I can't travel as far and wide as I'd like to, but there's plenty to see around me. I just need to open my eyes, and appreciate what's already there.
Be more positive
There's always something good out there - whether that's family, friends or the world at large. I should embrace it more, instead of relying on negativity to see me through. As part of this, I should write about good things, photograph them and, simply, talk about them too.
When I 'have' something (a job/a relationship/anything really) I should just be glad that I have that, and do my best not let it go. When it comes to work, I can leave a job - but only if something else is lined up first. In a relationship this inverts: Make sure the other person knows exactly how I feel about them, and just how special they are. Be their 'rock'. Hold their hand when they need it, and don't let go.
Don't be afraid of emotions
This is intended on two fronts. Firstly, if I'm with somebody and they are upset I should do my best to comfort them. I can do this by looking at them, and smiling; talking about what they're feeling; and wrapping my arms around them, in an embrace, so they feel looked after. Secondly, if I'm upset I shouldn't be afraid of saying my feelings out loud, or asking for a hug if needed.
Remember: I'm not always right!
Try to see the other person's point of view
Those three points are combined, I think. From now on, I'll try to be less arrogant. Listening is key. If I take in better what people are telling me, I can commute the information and form a better understanding. Also, use this to learn from other people. How do they do the amazing things they do?
Be more creative
I want to do things I don't normally do. Paint! Dance! Act! Anything creative, really - and I'll write about it afterwards on here.
I have it in me. I just have to do the above points, and I'm there! :)