One of the saddest things about getting older is not growing up, but growing apart.
The amount of people that have come and gone from my life by this point makes me sad. I've had friends, good friends, who I've spoken to every day... and then one day, they are no longer part of my life.
Sometimes it's manageable. You can send them the odd text here or there, and it keeps the last remaining flickers of friendship going. Other times, however, you begin to realise just how long it's been with no contact, and that makes you sad, because with that thought also comes the realisation that you've probably now both changed beyond the other's recognition.
Then there's lovers. I struggle moving on from those that I have let into my heart. Each of them owns a piece, and when they leave it feels like they run away and take a piece of it hostage - because I want to still talk to them, know them, have a laugh with them... but they won't allow it. I've hurt them, and so they want me out of their lives for good. That piece of my heart never comes back.
It's upsetting because, in a way, my friends and girlfriends are my humanity. They keep me laughing, and feeling - and all I want to do when they go is reach out and reclaim what was once.
If you're an old friend of mine reading this, know that I love you - so get in touch, and let's reconnect, and not allow any more distance.